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Highlight of the morning: Finding the soundtrack to Heavy Metal on my piece-of-crap phone *o*
The C Word
What a weird time to be alive.
What I initially thought was a media scare has turned into a very real, very serious issue. My dad's a little freaked, and I almost never see him worried. Everything began shutting down, and even still in the beginning I was like "pfft, are we serious?" and then I actually educated myself on what was really going on. It doesn't feel like a pandemic like how it would be in the movies because we're being precautionary instead of reactionary. It's going to feel pointless for a majority of the time. The numbers are going to look too small to be important or scary. That's because we're implementing strategies to kee
Cracks
I had a thought this morning that has changed pretty much my entire perspective on myself and how my life has been.
In a lot of my writing, especially my poetry, I tend to use a vase as a metaphor for how fragile I feel and how often I feel broken. I didn't intend to make it a theme, but it kept happening and soon I ended up referencing it almost as a signature. Where it comes from, I really can't say, but it has felt like the best way to describe who I am: decorative on the outside, quiet, innocent, unsteady or easily put off balance, and very breakable.
These past few months have put me through the loop and the ride isn't over yet. But I'
Flip
Looking at past journals is funny because I go from inspirational to depressed. I'm on the more depressed side of things now.
Starting school again in a couple days and I'm a little nervous. I also have an "audition," or better put, writing test in three days for a job I want. I have a new teaching responsibility, and new people that I have to get to know and work with. I have to finally see a counselor and figure out how to deal with mental illness once and for all. This is the first time I've tried without having my parents involved, which is good but for someone my age I shouldn't be so scared.
I've been mostly locked in my room for the
I have confidence in me!
I've been listening to the Sound of Music lately, hence the title.
But I just wanted to reflect on how different I feel in recent months. Sometimes I look back at my old work because I like reading it sometimes. Recently, I've been struck by how sad and upset much of my writing is. And I don't feel anywhere near those things anymore. All the anger and pain I used to fuel countless songs and poetry is dissolving into healing and growth.
It's honestly a miracle. There's no grand explanation, really. I have just found good people to be around, learned when my habits are unhealthy and worked to change them, and trial and error. I'm not in a fan
© 2012 - 2024 AloiseBrennan
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YES!