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Literature Text
That time you first kissed me
I was nervous
I was scared but excited
I've never done this, I've never done this, I've never done this, I've never done this!
Who knows what you were thinking
How could feeling like a complete failure feel so glorious?
You were my paradox,
Which is strange because we made so much sense
All that tea and chocolate and cough drops
Out the window
All that counted was the heartbeat
That feeling like I was going seventy-five miles an hour
Even though your car was stopped
Three times
Unbelievable
I still feel it now
Your warmth
Maybe you were nervous too
But those eyes don't lie
Those beautiful brown eyes don't waver one bit
No matter what you thought
You didn't care
I see why people close their eyes
That kind of magic isn't for the naked eye
It has to be felt, like the bass in music
Like every note on your guitar
And every melody on my fiddle
Every song on my tongue
To every harmony in your lungs
And puzzle pieces landing, perfectly fit
From the shining drapery above
To the dank shadows underneath
The glitter of my skin reflects around us
My veins do a dance
The stomach faints and my hands are numb for everything but your face
The last time I took a leap like that
Could never have felt as good
Oh my goodness, it couldn't even come close!
Other people could laugh at me
Say I'm so naïve and such a child
Go ahead
But there's a truth
Good things come to those who wait
And saving those good things for those who deserve it
Sure feels heavenly
Just a simple thing
Anyone can do
But I wouldn't have this magic for anyone
It was meant for the right timing
You came when I least expected
And God waits until the time we least expect
Those unexpected moments we don't forget
So that time when you first kissed me
I won't ever forget
I'll keep our history safe
When days are dry and life's awry
We can throw out the fears
No worries about the past
No nervousness about tomorrow
I have you here
Who knows what we can do?
I was nervous
I was scared but excited
I've never done this, I've never done this, I've never done this, I've never done this!
Who knows what you were thinking
How could feeling like a complete failure feel so glorious?
You were my paradox,
Which is strange because we made so much sense
All that tea and chocolate and cough drops
Out the window
All that counted was the heartbeat
That feeling like I was going seventy-five miles an hour
Even though your car was stopped
Three times
Unbelievable
I still feel it now
Your warmth
Maybe you were nervous too
But those eyes don't lie
Those beautiful brown eyes don't waver one bit
No matter what you thought
You didn't care
I see why people close their eyes
That kind of magic isn't for the naked eye
It has to be felt, like the bass in music
Like every note on your guitar
And every melody on my fiddle
Every song on my tongue
To every harmony in your lungs
And puzzle pieces landing, perfectly fit
From the shining drapery above
To the dank shadows underneath
The glitter of my skin reflects around us
My veins do a dance
The stomach faints and my hands are numb for everything but your face
The last time I took a leap like that
Could never have felt as good
Oh my goodness, it couldn't even come close!
Other people could laugh at me
Say I'm so naïve and such a child
Go ahead
But there's a truth
Good things come to those who wait
And saving those good things for those who deserve it
Sure feels heavenly
Just a simple thing
Anyone can do
But I wouldn't have this magic for anyone
It was meant for the right timing
You came when I least expected
And God waits until the time we least expect
Those unexpected moments we don't forget
So that time when you first kissed me
I won't ever forget
I'll keep our history safe
When days are dry and life's awry
We can throw out the fears
No worries about the past
No nervousness about tomorrow
I have you here
Who knows what we can do?
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Comments18
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Very well done! I'm not even sure where to start talking about the use of language displayed in here. Everything flows together seamlessly. Everything from the wandering, almost repeatedly tangential course of the imagery, to the presentation with short lines, chopped up phrases, and scant punctuation blend well to add that sense of a rush. While I don't necessarily understand some of the choices of expressions ("How could feeling like a complete failure feel so glorious?" Awesome phrasing with the juxtaposition of feeling vs. feeling, but I'm not clued in to why you'd feel like a failure during your first kiss, for example), I get the strong sense that they're references to things in your personal experience that I cannot and indeed am not expected to know, and so in a sense, they act as trip lines for the imagination, forcing the reader to add detail and surrounding and paint out a vague and thrilling picture of the preceding romance and the circumstances, which comes across as something of an emotional roller-coaster (and indeed, "roller coaster" is a fitting word to use with the poem in many ways). I admit I was skeptical going in, particularly with a poem about a first kiss, not expecting anything unique or uncanny in the display or presentation of a subject so oft treated by poetry, but I was pleasantly surprised and, I admit, completely blown away.